The Moon is my Lady

spirit_flame@hotmail.com — Sun, 11 Nov 2007 03:07:59 GMT

So i had a weird dream and decided to post, maybe to see if anyone could tell me what it means. But first I'll give up a bit of back story so it just might make a little more sense. Thursday night I was finishing of a project for Design fundamentals, went to bed at 2am woke up to continue at 4am. So with my 2 hour nap in the middle of the night, I went to 3 classes each an hour long, at school from 8:30 until 2pm. When i got home at 2:30, I preceded to make supper and eat lunch. Left the house again at 3:40 to get to Fabricland at 5pm at worked until 9pm. Work was dead, but Gail was talking about bone beads and that she was talking to a guy to used to make then, but he used to make them in jail. And my mind did a little freak off my two hour sleep and wondered if they were human bones. According to Gail it would take to long to make enough bone bead to hide a body. So when i went home and to bed i crashed. That night, last night, i dreamed that i had to cook pieces of people fresh, there was a tongue, a foot, a hand, and chunks of fresh. Oh and a rat skull and i put it in my mouth cause i needed my hands for something, i quickly took it out once i realized what i was doing. And there was a little human skull. In the later half on my dream I had some one helping me, and then some one else found out, so in order to keep them from talking i figured i could cook them too, but since it was taking me forever to cook the meat i already had, because i just kept forgetting that i was supposed to be cooking it, so we figured that the best thing to do was make him eat some, that way he couldn't tell anyone. I realize that logic doesn't work but it did in my dream. I remember that the foot had a note saying mom washed it so it was ok to cook.
So that was my dream, cooking people fresh, and enslave another by making him eat it....

My exams went great to mild to gah. In Theatre History i got 90%, Design Fundamental i got 81% and Drama 1000 i got 72%. so not too too bad.

new school year

spirit_flame@hotmail.com — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 23:21:26 GMT

HELLO LJ!!!!! How are you? I haven't posted on you in 15 weeks, it's a new record for me.
Ok quick update. Over the summer I went to Swift Current to see if I could have a dating relationship with Lee-Ann. It didn't work. I was apparently not ready for a relationship. Which is fine. I guess. But since it was only my 2nd I most surrently have lots to grow at.

And now I'm back in Lethbridge, taking classes. I have 5 classes, but I may be getting kicked out of one because I don't have the pererquites for it. I'll find that out tonight or tomorrow. And it was a class i thought would help me out in life. It was Voice and Speech. See don't you see the potential? The classes are going alright, but I've only been in school a week.

I have roommates, I'm going to have to see if rooming with boys is better then rooming with girls. So far not to bad, I've only seen one guy once, and the landlord works a lot. The house is about a half an hour walk to school. So not to bad, I just have to worry about my one late class that ends at 9:30pm.

I'm working again at fabricland, but i think i need to pick up another job to make ends meet. But my experience other the summer of not eating lots will help me not buy so much food. XD Saving money, I just have to keep out of my student line of credit, way to easy to be spending that money. I'll talk to Heather and see if she can help me out.

Oh I've also signed up for 5 clubs, I'm not sure I'll be able to keep them up, but it will be interesting.

I'm at Swift

spirit_flame@hotmail.com — Mon, 28 May 2007 22:40:04 GMT

Hello all. I'm now in Swift Current, moved in with Lee-Ann. I have a job at the SPCA, i'm think i might need another one too. We went out for my birthday, had chinese. Still want an ice cream cake. At least 2 out of 3 of her cats like me, one is still unsure. We have no internet, so i'm right now at her mom place on their computer. I have to learn how to share a bed, i roll onto her in the night. Oops. I have to much crap, but still the impulse to buy more. I'm not sure when i'll be able to post next, i have to see when we can get the internet. Ok Bye bye.

pros and cons, sometimes i wish there where two of me

spirit_flame@hotmail.com — Sun, 15 Apr 2007 21:43:18 GMT

Pros for Fort Mac

Better paying jobs
Family
Friends
Less money on food and bills

Cons for Fort Mac

The town is shitty
would be harder to look for a place in Lethbridge when i'm up here
Would just have to leave in 4 months again anyways
Would cost $320 for a round trip from fort mac to swift current
would have to look for a job

Pros for Lethbridge

Way closer to Lee-Ann
Already have a job, just need to add to it
Would be easier to find a new place

Cons for Lethbridge

I have little to no friends
Have to pay for everything
Won't make as much

spirit_flame@hotmail.com — Thu, 12 Apr 2007 22:43:47 GMT

If from the place I leave. If from this earth I do go. If I have never truly said. I hope that you do know. You've touched my life. Youhave altered my path. The times we've shared. I pray that it not our last. But if God does see fit. To take me home. This one fact will remain. It may stand alone. My friend my sister i trust that you know. You're in my heart and I love you so.

Aww a poem Chris wrote to me.

blah Mawhaha

spirit_flame@hotmail.com — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 19:07:49 GMT

Hello all, guess where i am. At my parents place, that i am. XD A nice 14 hour drive, oh joy. Sleeping, listening to music, watching crappy movies, but hey it was the first time i watched movies on the bus. I Spy and CatWoman, both i've seen. Oh well. It took me a while to figure out how to get the wireless to work. I had to turn on the computer down stairs. My hickey was spotted by my mother. oh dear XD its mine and my first one XD

anger quotes

spirit_flame@hotmail.com — Fri, 23 Mar 2007 04:19:21 GMT

quotes cause they're always good to read, make you think and all that. These ones are kind of to fit my mood.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. Ambrose Bierce
How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it. Marcus Aurelius
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. Buddha
Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned. William Congreve
Anger as soon as fed is dead - 'Tis starving makes it fat. Emily Dickinson
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. Phyllis Diller
Anger and jealousy can no more bear to lose sight of their objects than love. George Eliot
For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind. Ralph Waldo Emerson
Always write angry letters to your enemies. Never mail them. James Fallows
If a small thing has the power to make you angry, does that not indicate something about your size? Sydney J. Harris
The world needs anger. The world often continues to allow evil because it isn't angry enough. Bede Jarrett
He who angers you conquers you. Elizabeth Kenny
Anger is a killing thing: it kills the man who angers, for each rage leaves him less than he had been before - it takes something from him. Louis L'Amour
No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched. George Jean Nathan
Get mad, then get over it. Colin Powell
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear. Mark Twain
One should not lose one's temper unless one is certain of getting more and more angry to the end. William Butler Yeats

Some of else i had to go ouch. some i nod my head at. life goes on

May is the month to move.

spirit_flame@hotmail.com — Fri, 23 Mar 2007 00:25:08 GMT

So Jodi is moving out and i'm moving out XD It's all working out. She asked me if i was ticked off, what do i say? "Yup" big ol' smile on my face. Oh the things i could have said the things i still want to say. She sat beside me to tell me that she was moving out at the end of May, i'm like sweet i'm moving at the begining of May. I wonder if she was wondering if i would be hurt by it, kind of takes the blow out of it if i was already going to move.

But this is not a good place to be, not when i have volient impulses for both of them, wishes horrible diseases on them. I'm a very bitter person. I realise is, many things have lead to this.

She finds it odd that i've counted the days he's been here. i know its her house too, but if we where being fair, then way the hell is he here 5 days out of 7, and sleeping over. Oh the things i could say, she wonders if i'd visit her when i moved back down, i don't think so, there is no need for me to. And i haven't liked being in her company for a long time.

I've put my name on my food, its mine and i have no desire to share.

i crave Pocky

spirit_flame@hotmail.com — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 02:32:35 GMT

Hello all. I haven't been on in along time. I should post more often but who wants to hear how we got new fabric in, i have 2 sewing projects on the go, and i had a fight with my roommate a while ago about her boyfriend. I'm figuring most of this would have no connection to people and most of the time i don't feel is really matters, why post, i'm just that lazy.

I'm feeling bad about neglecting people, i'm still not should when i stand with some people. I'm hoping must of them are still friends and allies. Here's hoping. I haven't really been in connect with to many... as in maybe 3 people in the last month or so, 3 who actually don't go on lj so hoot.

Here's an update of whats been going on.

Ok the fight with my roommate happened a while ago, as least the one about her boyfriend. I don't like him, there are things about him that annoys me. She got mad at me, and didn't speak to me for 3 days, well she had gone over to his place. Got over that at least it looked like.

Then it was my time to get mad. I'm not a servant and will not allow myself to be treated as one. I'm not someone who you can just order around, and not have me react. I locked myself in the bathroom for a few hours, only room in the house with a lock. I still don't like when he's here, cause she treats me bad, and disregardes me.

I've also thought about moving out. Maybe move to Fort McMurray for 4 months work my tail end off, just so i can move back here in Sept. In going to have to look at the pros and cons before i do. I've also thought about moving to Edmonton, but i have to wait until next year to try for U of A cause i think i missed the deadline. And i don't have anything to make a porfolio with, and they want one.

I'm going to fort Mac of Easter and my momma's b-day. see if A&W will let me work a little bit to make up the money i'm lossing by going up there.

I'm going to have to talk to people more, catch up and see whats going on.

Oh Kitty do you still want to go get sushi with me one of these days?

U of L

spirit_flame@hotmail.com — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 01:30:38 GMT

YAY i got a letter today from the U of L. I got excepted yay. I'm still debating if i want to go to Edmonton and go to the U of A, but my time limit is very small. So i have to work quickly.

Oh and my sister sent me Cock Soup XD oh rosters, why did they name a soup that hehe, silly soup people.

<3

spirit_flame@hotmail.com — Mon, 19 Feb 2007 04:48:46 GMT

I found stuff from in email and thought i would share XD

Try to remember this the next time you're feeling down.

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up.

He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this. He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill.

He then asked, "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air.

"Well", he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty.

"Now, who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.

"My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you. The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE. You are special - Don't EVER forget it."

If you do not pass this on, you may never know the lives it touches, the hurting hearts it speaks to, or the hope that it can bring. Count your blessings, not your problems. And remember: amateurs built the ark professionals built the Titanic.

spirit_flame@hotmail.com — Thu, 15 Feb 2007 15:43:33 GMT

YAY Birthday of the Nicole!!!!!!!!!!!!
XD *glomp* Love you, Miss you. Be Well on day XD. X3
*giant glomp*

>

spirit_flame@hotmail.com — Tue, 06 Feb 2007 04:22:12 GMT

Supper tonight was Booster Juice and sushi...
Daddy says i need to build brigdes...
i've become very good at alienating allies ><
the cat makes a purring pillow
"Be a man. Grevel" hehe oh tv you come up with the most interesting quotes

bf are so stupid >< bump the ass

spirit_flame@hotmail.com — Sun, 04 Feb 2007 18:45:57 GMT

I told Jodi i didn't like her boyfriend. I'm not sure if that was a good thing to do, she hasn't really talked to me since. Course that was just 2 days ago and yesterday we worked, and last night she went over to his place to sleep over, so she's not back yet.
This is the conversation as close as i can recall it.

Jodi was saying something about how after she got upset with him that's he phoned every night since. He didn't phone that night.
I said that is was probably cause he was afraid she would bump him.
Jodi: Why would i bump him?
Me: Cause he's an ass.
J: He was an ass when he bought you ice cream?
M: I think he was trying to butter me up to make me stop hating him.
J: you hate him?
M: Well i don't like him.
J: Why don't you like him?
M: I don't like the way he treats you. And he makes jokes the prove he's an ass.
J: What jokes?
M: I don't know but he's done it a few times.

And then the conversation kind of went died. And we haven't had a normal conversation yet. Of course most of our conversations usually revolved around him. I also mentioned in there that he was a bastard, and she replied that she was sure his parents where married. But the dude is a jerk, he makes her cry almost once a week. I don't think he respects her. They make plans, at least she think they are plans and then he just backs out, most of the time at the last minute or after the time (like say we was going to come over at 6, he'll phone at like 8 or something saying he can't make it, or that he's to tried and he gets no sleep at our house.) They make plans to go to Calgary on Jodi's days off, they where thinking of things to do, what to see in Calgary and what not. And then he phones saying he doesn't want to go, that he wasn't sure if he was. If that was the case then he could have freaking told her, before getting her hopes up to high.
I don't think you need to defend a good character, i think that the persons our actions should reflect who they are. She has to defend him to me and to herself more often then not. When ever she's trying to discuss things that he's done to upset her he gets offended, and says she's nagging, which in turn makes her upset and she ends up crying later. He doesn't respect her, if he did then he would take what she said and at least try a little bit. If he was truly sorry about the things he's done then you would think that he won't do them again. But to me they seem to be a regular occurrence.
He's voice now annoys me to no end, and i want to throw something at him when he laughs. >< This is not going well. When i first met him i was neutral, i don't know anything about him to base any feeling about him on, expect that he looks kind of funny. But as i've got to know him, at least through Jodi's interaction with him, my dislike for him has grown. He doesn't keep his word, he lies, he's a jerk, and he's a hypocrite. People like him, i'm not sure why, maybe because they don't know him all that well. He's lied about his age to them all (26 when he's really 31), so they can't know him all that well.

I wish she would find someone that actually treats her well and is not just good in bed. >< His good times should hopefully outweigh the bad times. Maybe i've only noticed the bad cause she gets so upset.

An apple for supper again, yay, i need to stop being lazy and cook something

spirit_flame@hotmail.com — Sat, 27 Jan 2007 07:07:32 GMT

EWWW Tomato soup with peanut butter is not good, maybe i used to much? damn and i wanted tomato soup, well maybe not. but what to eat?

Land lord and lady came by today, came to change the walls in the shower. The anolyom was what was warping not the wall, no mold, yay. So they riped out the anolyom and some drywall, and cleaned up the tub, but won;t be back until tomorrow morning. And they had a look at the oven, we either need a new element or a new stove. I vote stove. Oh, and how things circle and seem small. My land lord and lady know the Lokhorsts and the Bamies....i'm like omg, but in my head. My landlord was Mr. Bamie's roomate long time ago. lol

I asked about Danny cause i don't keep in touch ever well, or at all. They said last they heard he was in Edmonton, so when Mathew was on msn i asked him. According to him Danny is now in the states doing missionary word with or for his church for 2 years. Wow he always said he would, Go Danny. Oh and Mathew now knows the joy of a slowcookers. i don't think he likes talking to me.

Michael was on msn too tonight XD YAY Michael i haven't talked to him in ages. I shared some stolen emoticons and talked about lemon. The threesome one from jodi i shared.... ones a pirate and one is going to be the ninja, XD smut.

I'm going to take pictures of the bathroom now and then when its done, to show people who probably don't really care. XD i'll email them to my mom too.

ok night night

videos

spirit_flame@hotmail.com — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 03:21:13 GMT

today is a sewing day

spirit_flame@hotmail.com — Thu, 18 Jan 2007 17:37:32 GMT

Oh the angst of yesterday. I feel better now thank you. My paranoia is not a healthy thing. Its harmful not only to me but to others. I'm sorry i'm such a horrible person.

Ok now for what i've been up to since i got back, i can't remember a lot of it. Working, but not enough, i've gone hunting for a second job, to go along with Fabricland. I have an interview with Shoppers already... i don't know why i tried to look for one downtown when there are businesses closer to my house. $52 for a bus pass is an annoying amount ><.

I've almost done a dress that i started on the weekend, i was just lazy when the day ended and haven't picked it up again. I've also picked up a project at work, so now i have a jacket to sew as well, guess what i'm doing today with my day off.

I was at the mall for a good 5 hours yesterday, Jodi my roommate got her hair bleached... it just took 4 hours >< oh my... i'm never going to go blond. It cost $140 to get it dyed and cut. I'm glad she's having fun with her credit card.

Church makes by mad a lot, the things they say make me rage and scream... in my head. They follow a book that's had 2000 years of changes and manipulation, all male based put upon it. It makes the feminist in me rage. It's all hypothetical.

The cat lost his collar...maybe under the fridge.

Jodi's boyfriend annoys me, he makes her sad. And i really didn't need to know all this personal stuff about him. >< which i'm not supposed to let on that i know...joy secrets.

Work has been going slow, its hard to look busy sometimes when there is nothing to do.

The hot water here sucks... it gets used to fast, and i think we share it with the 3 other renters.. it's a fourplex. Oh we got a new landlady and lord. They live in Calgary. I'm not sure how they want they rent mailed to them.

I thinks that's all thats happened so far. Oh Keyano is mailing me a transcript. I need to apply for schools ><.

Merry Chrisssstmas

spirit_flame@hotmail.com — Mon, 25 Dec 2006 19:31:41 GMT

Merry Christmas to all XD

Hope is all going splendidly and family is well.
*GIANT GLOMP*

People glomp

spirit_flame@hotmail.com — Sat, 23 Dec 2006 05:48:02 GMT

I saw many people today XD. I went to A&W with my dad and jonathan, and visited. Bonnie, Kylee and Shamena, Shamena said i could work while i'm up visiting... which would put money in my pocket. I got free food while my dad and brother had to pay XD hehe. I visited Kristine next, and watched unbeknown to me as she wrapped my present. I followed her to work, and saw what Kristine has been talking to be about. I saw Ryan and Jeremy, both where working. Ryan made me buy a manga, and i followed him around as he worked. Nicole was at Coles too, so it must have been fate. As i glomped her gravity became very strong and i fell on my tosh. Her sister and niece where there, i'm not allowed to mention my views on santa around her niece. Hopefully i get to do stuff with everyone. Nicole has you ever watched the movie Lady in the Water, my parents rented it, or my Super Ex-girlfriend.

Oh my mom noticed my earrings XD, i think she thinks there nice. Then she said something about my perfect hole less ears, so i'm not to sure. But she told my dad saying " April got her ears pierced, April got her ears pierced" and my dad being the crazy guy he is said didn't i have them before.... *sigh* *shakes my head* oh well XD

A few more bits of sewing and i should be all done XD hopefully.

I'm alive and home

spirit_flame@hotmail.com — Fri, 22 Dec 2006 16:52:38 GMT

YAY i made it home alive XD. I got in at about 11pm I left Lethbridge at 7:45am ... it was a long day, and i was up at 4:30am too... crazy me. They have yet to notice my new piercings, so i'll try and keep my mouth shut and see if they notice. The new windows are pretty.

I still have to finish touch ups on presents and wrap them >< i have two suitcases full of presents.... I did not realize i had got so much.

I paided rent before i left, so now all i have is $90 in the bank, and i allow Tracy like $76 and Chris $100. YAY but i get paided on the 26th so hopefully Jodi will be able to put my check in the bank. Here's hoping.

long bus ride a head

spirit_flame@hotmail.com — Thu, 21 Dec 2006 12:54:25 GMT

I'm off the taxi should be here in ten minutes. See you all when i get up there.

spirit_flame@hotmail.com — Thu, 14 Dec 2006 04:51:56 GMT

I need a moment of everyones time. A moment of silents please. For the dear passing of Pippin the Hamster. He passed sometime today.

I'm not sure if i barried him far enough down. I never had to do any of the barring of my pets, my parents did it. I'm glad that Jodi's new bo was here, he helped. She seems to be ok now. I'm hoping that i barried him far enough down, but i'm not sure.

pictures, i got a hold of Jodi's camera

spirit_flame@hotmail.com — Wed, 13 Dec 2006 07:30:30 GMT

Pictures XD

This is Lemon, he is the cat. He likes bags and can spend hours in them.

This is Lemon in a box, in the laundry room, he was being bad. Eating garadage.

More Lemon, don't you like my pants?

Me and Lemon, he doesn't like the flash. I took the picture, explains the poor angles.

This is Jodi, she's my roommate. She doesn't like me taking pictures. Its with her camera.

And this is me and my new earing... I have two, but only took one pictures of one.

update... it's a rare creature

spirit_flame@hotmail.com — Wed, 13 Dec 2006 03:41:36 GMT

I was disemboweled, at least twice today. I'm not sure why i've imagined a knife cutting through my belly, but it's not the first time. Sometime i get stabbed right through too, usually on my right side. i'm just really odd, and really did anyone need to know that, probably not.

Yesterday was my work christmas party. My bosses paid, so i had an appetizer, dinner and dessert. XD it was gooood Georgeio's is a good meal. And the women looked very sharp with a tie. Our waiter wasn't bad looking. It was interesting to sit with the bosses, cause they usually just hide up in their tower.

On Saturday i went to the church's christmas party. It was strangely familiar, being surround my adults ( i know i'm an adult) but if felt like old times. I got 3 mugs out of it. two of them have decapitated snowman heads on the inside. And toffee. Yummy toffee. I had to paid for that meal, but it lasted, it was lunch the next day and supper.

I've been going to church i've been there 3 times.. but i can't say that i remember a lot. I seem to get distracted easily. I like to contradict things in my head. XD hehe. I'm not sure way but i go to church looking for prospective mates. It hasn't happened yet.. their all married and older.

At work one of the lady's said she would adopt me, take me instead of her daughter. XD She makes yummy cookies. I miss homecooked meals that i don't have to make.

One time, like a few weeks ago i went to Sobeys wondering if Janet was working. I then had to remember that i was in the wrong city. It was disheartening. I've been connecting people here to people in fort mcmurray, they remind me of other people i've met. I think my brain was trying to coop.

I'm getting the bus on the 21st, and continuing to fort mcmurray. So more time with people *hug* friends. I think i'm going to have to take a blanket, my parents don't really have extra blankets. Oh but they got new windows too XD Trying to make the house more sell able. My dad wants to sell the house in the summer... my mom not so much. But we'll see.

Gail is going to show me how to make a bag, i need a laptop bag. Traveling with it on my lap not so wise.

I should update more often. I could update from my phone.. but i think it'll cost a lot. But i talk more in texts them i do here.

I can't wait to see everyone. *hug*

Hello I have xmas off i'm going home

spirit_flame@hotmail.com — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 01:52:47 GMT

Hello All. It's been a long little while since i posted, sorry about that.

I have my days off YAY, i saw the schedule for those days im off from the 20th, but can't leave until the 22nd. I don't want to leave Jodi alone in the house, and we have to clean before her parents come. Maybe two more days for quick sewing? No i won't be that bad. I'll do some sewing tonight after the movie and tomorrow. Tomorrow is my day off XD so i have to sew and get birthday presents from my nephews and niece. Crazy being born in December.
YAY XMAS XD!!!

I waved at my boss from her watching tower. It's creepy having her watch you from the second story. It's like being watched do a vulture. But apparently waving at her will call up her wrath. So i shell try not to do, but it's still creepy to see.

Oh its fun saying words that i know fit with the sentence but after don't really know what it means. Like the word innate. Like i have an innate fear of something. And then turn around and ask what innate means.
Innate: 1. existing in one from birth; inborn; native: innate musical talent.
2. inherent in the essential character of something: an innate defect in the hypothesis.
3. originating in or arising from the intellect or the constitution of the mind, rather than learned through experience: an innate knowledge of good and evil.

I know and now you know, what the word innate means XD. Have fun with your new word, or old, what ever XD.

Oh and you don't really need to know this but it's bugging me... why the hell am i late?